I was born in 1988. I grew up in the 90’s. This was when having a computer in the home became a thing. The first thing I learned on the computer was how to play Solitaire. I learned how to play Solitaire on a computer rather than actual playing cards. As I was growing up, I played computer games that were either already on the computer, free online, or from a disc.
The first kind of social media came in the early 2000’s. They were live chats on AOL. Kind of like the live chats you find on youtube livestreams now. You could even have a private chat with a stranger, and you would have no idea what they looked like.
Enter Myspace (2005/2006). Now, I know there was actually Friendster that preluded it, but it never got to the fame that Myspace had. I had myspace. I’m not sure how I found it. But it was part of my daily routine. I loved how you could be creative: add your favorite songs on the page- so that whoever went to my page, it was playing in the background. And you had the choice to turn it off if you didn’t like it. And you could change it whenever you felt like it. Same with the creativity of the page. You could design your page whenever you felt like it. You could write blogs, poetry. There was just so much personality with it. It started everything. It was also the first time someone could become famous from it. It was the era of the Scene Queens, with notable people such as Hannah Beth, Jeffree Star and Audrey Kitching.
Twitter started as well during this time. It was cool. People could share their thoughts, say whatever they want as if it were a virtual town hall.
Youtube, barely considered social media, is more like an outlet. Anyone can be a famous chef now. And blogging has become vlogging. You can find a video on any subject or topic. Educational or just someone to explain the directions of a product you just purchased. It’s actually a really great thing invented.
Facebook came about soon after. Not as popular in the beginning. Because it was mainly for college students. So, it was like a private social media to connect with my college friends. No creativity involved. Basically a social media tool to connect with people, like a virtual address book.
I don’t know when Facebook changed though. It was a while ago, where then your family (mom, dad, uncle, cousin) joined, and it became more business-y. Then it replaced Myspace for good. Groups or Communities became a thing, where now you can join a group geared towards your interests. Now it’s the main social media site people go to. To procrastinate… aka Doom Scroll.
Instagram arrived in 2010. I remember when it wasn’t as popular, but I jumped on there as soon as I learned of it. Photos that you uploaded had it’s own kind of vintage fade with a border. At some point within the last 7 years it became the most popular form of social media aside from Facebook. People also rose to fame from being on Instagram. But, nothing really compared to Myspace Fame or Celebrities from movies. It’s just that somehow, they became Influencers. A new kind of career. Becoming famous from Instagram is still a mystery to me. Because it seems to just happen to people. Though this is also part of the procrastination problem, and thus, Doom Scrolling.
You can just be on social media, innocently just to see any updates from practically anything or from anyone. And one thing leads to another in Doom Scrolling or looking up people, celebrities. It’s a time waster, it fills the gap between whatever you are doing, to fill a gap between your studies where your break takes a bit longer than you thought it would.
Social Media has thus become an addiction.
The current craze right now is Tik Tok. This new thing came about in 2020, the height of the pandemic, and a way for people to waste time at home. This is slowly taking over Instagram unfortunately. And Instagram has taken some cues from Tik Tok and short-lived SnapChat. Which has made Instagram much more addictive, because of it.
Just like Instagram, people are also finding fame from Tik Tok.
I thought it was just a children’s toy when I first learned of it. Thus, I have decided to not join. It would be another thing to take away my attention. And there happens to be controversy surrounding it that people seem to ignore. With the name like Tik Tok, a woman like me entering her 30’s, just was not interested.
I have had boyfriends who didn’t use social media, and I didnt’ think too much of it. But when I had a girl friend deciding to quit social media, I thought, “Oh wow, thats amazing….so what do you do with your day?”
The idea had lingered with me every now and then since. I felt like maybe I could have been more successful in my studies and career if I had just quit sooner. Or even been more successful in my blogging/vlogging for TheHolisticLove. I felt like I just watched everyone reach success, and I just was too glued to my screen to even do anything. I lived through people’s lives watching people on social media. And I would think, “That should have been me. I did this much sooner than they did.”
I am becoming a mom for the first time in my life, and it has finally hit me. I think about what life was like before social media. My mom was present with me. As a child myself, I was present with the world and my surroundings.
I always see in person and through social media, parents are using their phone while being with their child. Or they’re filming a promotional video while being with their child.
I think about the impact to a child growing up with their parent on their phone.
On the series of ‘The Kardashians’, Kourtney’s son, Mason, expressed his views of his mom always being on her phone. And it made her think about this, that she should put her phone down while she’s with her children.
I had a family member who was attached to his tape recorder. The habit was related to Aspergers. But I resented it growing up, where at one point on a trip, I threw it out the window in the car. It got smashed by other cars. And it was this whole ordeal. He never thought about how it affected me. Because this was his clutch, and always will be.
Social media is so similar. It has become people’s clutch.
Everyone is always carrying around their cell phone as if it’s attached to their hand.
Something that is practiced often, becomes a habit. When a habit becomes excessive, it becomes an addiction.
I’m challenging myself for a few months to be off my phone. It is a weaning process. I had to first log out of my @TheHolisticLove instagram. After a few days I logged out of Facebook. After a week, I logged out of my personal instagram account.
I didn’t make any announcement. Sometimes when we announce something we are going to do, we end up going against it, unintentionally.
Say, for example, a person addicted to junk food states to the world, “I’m quitting junk food!….I’m going to do this to lose weight!”
Next thing you know…..the person caved into something they proclaimed they’d stop doing. They failed their diet, and they feel guilty. And therefore, they just continue down that path.
The only person who I told about weaning off social media was my husband….who dosn’t use social media. Wanna know what he does with his life? Edits his movie all hours of the day. And become my caregiver because of being sick from my pregnancy. Only pregnant women and mother’s know what I’m talking about….
I have logged out of all my social media accounts, and it’s great! A bit boring. Especially since I’ve been mainly in bed lately.
Currently, since I have had a practice of being on my phone so much, it feels weird not doing anything on my phone. Therefore, part of my weaning process, I play Solitaire. I check my emails. I look at the pregnancy apps to learn more about my growing baby.
Some apps have communities now. When I was planning my wedding, I was on Zola. Now I’m on Baby Center.
It’s in some way still considered social media, but feels more like an acquaintance that I can say ‘Hi’ to every now and then.
I hope I can finally be productive in my life and be more present. Also be on here more! Which is what I always had planned to do on my downtime from my studies.
To being present in the now and future.